What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

How does the narcissist react when he realizes you no longer care?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

What! how could you do that?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

As a guy, how do you know you if you are considered attractive?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

What do you mean son?

What is the best way to get revenge on people who hurt you?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

True - how I loved my mum!

What do you think of casting Emma Watson as the next James Bond?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Do you know what she said mum?

May home sales increase very slightly, but prices hit another record high - CNBC

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?